Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
