Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
