It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
