It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I woke up under a house in Key West
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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