dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
