Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
