ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
