wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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