sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
