I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
