Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i permit you to call me
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
North Korea, Best Korea!
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize
