party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
So. Much. Porn.
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