i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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