btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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