ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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