I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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