I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
