day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize