Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
