the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
