And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
