He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
