how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
