btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize