He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
