I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
