Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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