I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
