I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
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