i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
