i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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