Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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