Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
