i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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