Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Randomize
