Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
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