I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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