First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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