Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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