so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
