She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
