definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
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