well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
