he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
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