Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
