I hate your face
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
