i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I think weed is turning my hair brown
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
