I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
