I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
