Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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